Cephi

Cephi is the Half-orc owner of a casino in Shacktown. She was one of the most unluckiest characters ever. Scored for a blues track, but equally to the background tune of U2's "One". This "ballad" pretty much covers the events of what happened in that one session (a parrot was also magic missiled).

I got a mouse familiar, he’s called Squeak.

Crossbow smashed by a lizardfolk.

Sacred crocodile ate my Squeak.

LizardFolk Mezcal made me trip.

Enfeebled by Guy Smeethe.

He tried to drown me

Punched out by Nemara Balderk.

Rammed a tree.

Smashed my shortspear.

Got tail-whipped by a sauropod.

Failed to climb a tree.

Dilophosaur spat in my eye.

Acid-flask’d my own face when reaching for anti-toxin.

Given a 10% chance of having a good reaction to the acid, I rolled a 0 then a 0.

Landed on enraged Dilophosaur after a failed rescue attempt, rode her off into the sunset.

LizardFolk guide from Khassh'vorr shot Dilophosaur, I landed in the T Rex dung.

This is dedicated to Chris, whose Halvorc sorceror (Cephi) is/was the unluckiest person on the New World (so many 1s!).